Donald Trump finally got his wish: a birthday parade packed with tanks, troops, and tyrant energy – but the crowd? Let’s just say it didn’t exactly march to his tune.
The $45 million spectacle rolled through Washington DC on Saturday to mark the Army’s 250th anniversary – though funnily enough, it also happened to be Trump’s 79th birthday. 🤔
🎖️ A parade fit for a… dictator?
Tanks trundled down Constitution Avenue, troops saluted, and rocket launchers rumbled past. Meanwhile, Trump spent most of the two-hour show sitting down and looking visibly bored. He gave a brief eight-minute speech, saying:
“Every other country celebrates their victories, it’s about time America did too.”
Vice President JD Vance introduced him as “the main event” of the evening – but the crowd didn’t seem convinced.
📉 Smaller crowd than expected
The turnout was significantly lower than for a typical July 4th celebration. In fact, the “celebration” was dwarfed by over 2,000 “No Kings” protests nationwide, drawing millions.
It didn’t help that Trump gave the speech just 1,000 feet from the spot where he’d incited the January 6th Capitol riot. Yes – that spot.
🧨 A long-time obsession
Trump has dreamt of a military parade since 2016. He wanted one for his inauguration. Then again in 2019. But each time, military leaders warned him: this is “what dictators do.”
His desire never died, though – just like the controversial memory of dodging the Vietnam draft with his infamous “bone spurs” note.
Now back in office and still facing criminal investigations, Trump finally got his authoritarian moment on wheels.
But with empty seats, tanked turnout, and nationwide protests, it was less a show of strength… and more a masterclass in ego over substance.
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